Things weren't always this way

I loved my job.  Working 7 to 4, being with adults, having my own time.  It was perfect.  I went home to my daughter, spent a few hours with her, put her to bed and started all over.  We had all weekend to play together and that was enough for me.

In March 2011 I unexpectedly lost my job.  What would I do now?  Fighting past the tears and anger, I started applying for jobs left and right.  My first interview came 4 weeks later.  As I was getting ready to leave, my daughter asks why I'm going back to work.

I tell her, "Mommy has to work so we can have money for things, like our house and food."  She asks "and my toys?" "Yes, and your toys".  She runs off, and comes back 10 minutes later with an arm full of Care Bears, Littlest Pet Shops and a Zhu Zhu Pet.  Tears in her eyes, she wails "Mom, I'll sell all my toys so we can have money so you can stay home with me!"

I cried the whole way to the interview, and the whole way back.  I decided that day that I would be staying home with my daughter. 

I never wanted to stay home.  I never wanted to be a "frumpy mom who played with her kids all day and got no adult interaction."

I am learning to love it, and, to be able to afford it, learning to live simply.  It's been tough, but worth it when I wake up and join my daughter for breakfast at the table every morning.